Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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