why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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