dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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