I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
this will be a night to untag.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
