...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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