Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
