i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
