i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
