When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
