I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
