Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
