its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
