its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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