god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
