He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
