Nicole vs. Life
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
