she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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