We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
