I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
