the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
