Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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