Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
