My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
