How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
