I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I need to sanitize my soul.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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