i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
