I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
