peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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