I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
