She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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