He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
