Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
