I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
