You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
