so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Randomize
