its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
