Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
