She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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