He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
