That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
