when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
