Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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