he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
