69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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