Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
