I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize