she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
