She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
