Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
