ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Mom said you looked used
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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