Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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